Last February, Robert Higgs published an essay on LewRockwell.com entitled “Nuke France”.
Higgs has it all wrong. We need to nuke Germany instead.
After all, let’s not forget: The Germans started both world wars! And everybody knows that there’s something inherently aggressive about all Germans.
Do I need to remind anyone that prior to U.S. entry into World War I (“the war to end all wars” and “the war to make the world safe for democracy”), German troops were bayoneting Belgian children and cutting off their arms? Never mind that it turned out to be fake and false British propaganda to get the United States to enter the war — the Germans were probably going to do it anyway.
And don’t tell me that all we have to do is change the name of sauerkraut to “liberty cabbage” or drop the teaching of German in our public schools. Wasn’t that already tried in World War I? Did it prevent World War II?
And don’t try to tell me that only Hitler and his henchmen were responsible for World War II. Wasn’t Germany a democracy that put Hitler into power? Doesn’t that make every German, even those who voted against him, responsible for what he did?
Isn’t that why we needed to wage war against both German troops and German civilians? Isn’t that why we needed to bomb all those defenseless women, children, and refugees at Dresden? Isn’t that why we needed to wage total war against Germany?
Yep, those who waged the “good war” had it right: The only good Hun is a dead Hun.
In fact, one of our biggest mistakes was in not adopting the Morgenthau Plan, in which U.S. Secretary of the Treasury Henry Morgenthau Jr. called for the permanent postwar dismantling of all industry in Germany. That would have caused the deaths by starvation of millions of Germans. If only Presidents Roosevelt and Truman hadn’t gone soft and decided against the Morgenthau Plan. Darn.
And if only we had developed the nuclear bomb before Germany surrendered. We could have nuked both Berlin and Heidelberg. Sometimes life just isn’t fair.
And don’t be deceived by Germany’s new-found opposition to wars of aggression. It’s just another ploy designed to seduce us into believing that Germany has abandoned its designs to conquer the world. Hitler was saying the same things before he embarked on his mission of conquest.
Can’t you see — Germans are getting uppity again. They’re even standing against our war against Iraq! And after we liberated all of them from Hitler and delivered half of them to our communist friend and ally, Joseph Stalin. Those German ingrates!
We need to nuke them now — before it’s too late!
And for those who would oppose us — well, they’re just appeasers. And don’t forget what happened the last time we appeased Germany.
Wait a minute. Oh gosh, I just thought of something. No, on second thought, maybe we should nuke, well … North Vietnam!
Think about it: those people killed almost 60,000 American men. What better proof could you have of their hatred for our freedom and values?
And they invaded and conquered the Republic of Vietnam, which was an independent country — just ask the French. (Sorry!)
And don’t forget how they attacked our ships in the Gulf of Tonkin! It’s all detailed in the Gulf of Tonkin Resolution, which our congressional representatives overwhelmingly approved. Don’t believe those who claim that the attack never happened. They hate America. Our government officials would never lie, especially on a matter as important as war, when the lives of American servicemen are at stake.
Perhaps worst of all, the North Vietnamese are communists and we all know what that means. If we don’t stop them now, the dominoes will fall — first Cambodia, then Thailand, then India, Europe, Latin America, and ultimately the United States. Why, there might ultimately be a communist under every bed — well, at least in Hollywood.
We need to bomb Hanoi now. We need to mine Haiphong Harbor now. We need to liberate the South Vietnamese.
We need to nuke ’em — now!
What about those who would oppose our sending American men and women into battle to liberate the South Vietnamese people from communist tyranny? Uhmh — they’re just cowards and friends of Jane Fonda. And they hate America.
Oh, to be honest, I just don’t know whom to nuke first. I’m so confused. Foreign policy is so complicated. Why don’t they teach it in our public schools? I guess I’ll just support whatever my president wants to do. After all, he’s not just our president, he’s also our commander-in-chief, right?
Sorry, I’ve got to go now — Fox News is back on.