“North Korean fighter jets threatened an unarmed U.S. reconnaissance aircraft over the East Sea/Sea of Japan on Sunday, increasing tensions” (Washington Times, March 4, 2003). Bomb them.

South Korean President Roh “said the ... encounter ... was part of ‘a very predictable chain of events’ because of increased U.S. aerial surveillance of the North.... Mr. Roh ... did not clearly condemn the North and appeared to put the onus on the United States” (Washington Times, March 6, 2003). Bomb them too.

“A French company has been selling spare parts to Iraq for its fighter jets and military helicopters during the past several months” (Washington Times, March 7, 2003). Bomb them next.

“We have been reminded that France is not to be trusted at any time, on any issue.... The French have certainly sold nuclear technology to rogue states in the past, Iraq among them” (Paul Johnson, www.forbes.com). B.T.

“Boeing Co., the world’s biggest satellite maker, and Hughes Electronics Corp. will pay a $32 million fine for sharing rocket and missile technology with China without the U.S. government’s permission” (Washington Times, March 6, 2003). A fine? Bomb them.

“Oklahoma has decided to allow Muslim women to wear scarves while being photographed for green cards or license photos” (Washington Times, March 6, 2003). Are they kidding? Bomb them!

“Iraq’s vice president shouted ‘Shut up, you monkey’ at a Kuwait diplomat yesterday during an emergency summit of Islamic nations” (Washington Times, March 6, 2003). Got it covered.

“A new, fervent plea by Secretary of State Colin Powell to use force to disarm Iraq failed Friday to draw support at the U.N. Security Council beyond a small core of allies” (Associated Press, March 8, 2003). Cowards. Bomb them.

“House Majority Leader Tom DeLay said he has ‘great concern’ that Turkey is trying to blackmail the United States by reversing an agreement to let Turkey be a staging area for ground troops” (Washington Times, March 7, 2003). Bomb them twice.

“U.S. officials said a Pakistani army major was arrested by FBI agents and Pakistani authorities earlier this week on suspicion of links to al Qaeda.... Increasingly, the guerrilla movement in Afghanistan is being run out of neighboring Pakistan.... Pakistan’s army received a new medium-range, nuclear-capable, ballistic missile yesterday at a ceremony attended by President Pervez Musharraf” (Washington Times, March 7, 2003). Clearly a threat. Bomb them.

“More than 130 years after the ratification of the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, the state of Ohio still hasn’t officially ratified the measure guaranteeing equal rights to all citizens” (Washington Times, March 7, 2003). Inexcusable. Bomb them.

“Britain yesterday floated a compromise proposal in a bid to avoid a breakdown in the bitterly divided U.N. Security Council over military action to force Iraq to disarm” (Washington Times, March 7, 2003). "Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld yesterday suggested for the first time that Britain might not join the United States in a war against Iraq." (Washington Times, March 12, 2003) Going soft. Bomb them.

“The enormous untapped labor pools in China, India, Indonesia and the Philippines exceed in size the U.S. population. They are sufficiently large to hold down living standards and wages in those countries until all U.S. manufacturing and information technology jobs have been outsourced in order to boost corporate profits.... A country devoid of high production jobs is a poor country. Is the United States on the outsourced path to becoming a Third World country?” (Paul Craig Roberts, March 7, 2003). China, India, Indonesia, the Philippines — it’s all about jobs, so bomb them first.

“Women [in Afghanistan] with little status or education have almost no recourse [under Islamic law]. Death remains a punishment for adultery.... After 23 years of near-constant conflict, thousands of widows are living in extreme poverty and ignorance, and have to cope with a masculine culture of violence in which men with guns still have the final say” (Washington Times, March 8, 2003). Obviously didn’t bomb them enough.

“The race is on to determine the fattest cat on the globe” (Washington Times, March 6, 2003). It’s a matter of national pride. Bomb them.

“Before dawn yesterday, San Antonio Living History Association members portraying Alamo defenders fired a volley to commemorate the historic battle” (Washington Times, March 7, 2003). Men with guns in a church in Texas? Oh, definitely bomb them.

Scott McPherson is a policy advisor at The Future of Freedom Foundation in Fairfax, Va.